Cheesepocalypse

Tragedy has struck America as grocery stores –  where once shelves were  stocked with the delicious blocks of Velveeta cheese are now empty. Homes across our country are being forced to dip their chips in bowls of rotel without the melted cheese that so often goes along with it. Macaroni has gone cheeseless, and sports fans are causing a riot. How will this year’s Super Bowl survive without the traditional queso and chili con queso? Will anyone be able to survive this travesty?

Individuals that are in opposition of Velveeta believe the shortage is a good thing. This is because now Velveeta consumers are forced to buy and use organic blocks of cheese rather than the fake tube of yellow cheese. There are organic cheese products sold in all major grocery stores, so this is likely to happen. Although organic cheese is more expensive, which could be the reason why processed cheese is more desirable to the majority of Americans.

It is believed that Obamacare is the reason  for this devastation, and is being named the government’s “War on Cheese”. This is because before January 1, there was no sign of any Velveeta shortage and now all of the sudden its all gone. Could this be true?

Recently, Kraft tells Velveeta fans that the shortage is in fact true, “This most likely would have gone unnoticed any other time of year,” the spokesperson said. “This is really a short-term situation that is more noticeable during our current period of increased seasonal demand.”

Yes, it is very much a seasonal demand. The Super Bowl will not be able to survive without the traditional Liquid Gold next to the tortilla chips. Hopefully the cheespocalypse will be resolved as soon a possible.